CGM – Vol 3 Chapter 2 Part 1 – The shut-in goes on a death march


“Get up already, you neet!” (Mew-chan)

“Gyaaaaah!” (Wilhelm)

While I was enjoying my blissful sleep, my bed got flipped over.

What the hell, I hadn’t slept this well in years. Who dares to interrupt my sleep?

Looking up from the floor where I had fallen, I saw a white fluffy magical beast grinning at me with a smug smile. It was Mew-chan, after all.

“Come on. Can’t you let me sleep until noon today? I mean, I worked hard yesterday, didn’t I?” (Wilhelm)

“Hehehe. Too bad. It’s almost lunchtime mew. You’ve had more than enough sleep. So, rise and shine, you potential moldy neet!” (Mew-chan)

“Ehhh.” (Wilhelm)

“Don’t ‘ehhh’ me. Is it sore muscles again? Huh mew?” (Mew-chan)

“Well, not today.” (Wilhelm)

“Then get up already mew. Oh, right. Let me get your clothes for you mew. Now, what should you wear for today?” (Mew-chan)

I wonder if there’s anyone else in the world who lets magical beasts decide their outfit. Probably just me.

“Ugh, I slept too well and now I’m even sleepier.” (Wilhelm)

I can hear light footsteps coming up the stairs. That must be Anya.

Anya pokes her head into my room. She’s got a smile as bright as the sun. Mmn, I feel like I’m ready to tackle today’s quest.

“Good morning, Wil-sama!” (Anya)

“Ah, good morning, Anya.” (Wilhelm)

“The weather is great! Would you join me for a quest?” (Anya)

“…Would it be alright if we did it tomorrow?” (Wilhelm)

“There are tons of quests with deadlines today.” (Anya)

“How many?” (Wilhelm)

“Thirty!” (Anya)

Wow, she’s saying something pretty outrageous with a lovely smile. Unlike the old [Grand Bahamut], there are many difficult quests nowadays. Even I am unsure if we can complete thirty at once.

With a hand on my knee, I reluctantly got up. The heavy reluctance is typical of a shut-in.

“It can’t be helped. Let’s give it our best. Mew-chan, where are my clothes?” (Wilhelm)

“Here they are mew. An aloha shirt, shorts, and sunglasses mew! They absolutely suit you. I’m confident mew!” (Mew-chan)

“Wow, your sense of fashion is terrible.” (Wilhelm)

There’s no way I could go to the mountains dressed like that. In the end, I chose my usual outfit. Mew-chan looked a bit disappointed.

I walked through the town at a slightly slower pace to match Anya’s speed.

Since it was lunchtime, the streets were sparsely populated, making it easy to walk. Thanks to that, I didn’t get overwhelmed by the crowds.

Huh, there was a girl sitting on the bricks next to a flower bed.

The girl stood up and waved at us. She was probably around fifteen years old. Her smile was as bright as the blooming summer flower next to her.

There was a simple table set up nearby, so she was probably going to perform something.

“Wil-sama, shall we take a look? I want to see it.” (Anya)

“Well, if Anya says so. We don’t have much time, so just a bit, okay?” (Wilhelm)

The girl flashed a bright smile. She hasn’t said anything yet, giving the impression she was performing some kind of pantomime1.

This girl had large, expressive eyes and cute pink twin-tails. She was quite cute. Moreover, she had a well-endowed figure and beautiful legs, making her naturally attract attention just by standing there.

She might be a street performer or, judging by the hat she wore, perhaps a magician.

The girl held a coin between her thumb and index finger.

It seemed like she wanted attention. She showed both sides of the coin to emphasize that it was a normal one.

There were five paper cups on the table. She turned them upside down one by one, hiding the coin under the last one.

Her expression seemed to build up anticipation as if she was about to show something amazing.

She moved the upside-down cups around on the table without flipping them back. She exchanged the positions of the cups multiple times. This must be one of those guessing games where you have to guess which cup the coin is under.

It seems like she’s done with the swapping. Since her movements weren’t particularly fast, I could easily follow the movement of the cups with my eyes.

The girl gestured, asking which paper cup we thought the coin was under.

“Anya, which paper cup do you think has the coin?” (Wilhelm)

“I believe it’s this one. I’m confident of it.” (Anya)

She pointed to the second cup from the left. If she lifts that cup, the coin should be inside. I think so too.

With excitement, the girl began to overturn each paper cup one by one. So far, there’s no sign of the coin anywhere. And the last cup is the one Anya chose. Now, let’s see what the result will be.

With a hint of suspense, the girl flipped over the paper cup.

To our surprise, there was nothing underneath!

“Wow~!” (Wilhelm & Anya)

Anya and I applauded. The girl proudly showed off a triumphant expression. Her chest bounced with pride.

“Wil-sama, where on earth did the coin disappear to?” (Anya)

“I have no idea. I didn’t see the coin being moved from the paper cup.” (Wilhelm)

The girl wore a smug expression as if to say “hehehe”.

She reached out her hand towards her hat. Could it be that the coin is there? Surely not in the hat. She hadn’t touched it at all.

With a triumphant smile, the girl took off her hat. And there, on top of her head was the coin… or so it was supposed to be.

“Wil-sama, there’s no coin there. It was a feint, after all.” (Anya)

“A feint? Ah, I see. That was a good one. It really got our hopes up.” (Wilhelm)

Huh? The girl looks puzzled as she touches her head.

She seemed to be searching for the coin, but of course, it wasn’t there. She looked puzzled as she checked inside her hat. Turning the hat upside down on the table and shaking it, but still, no coin appeared.

The girl seemed to be sweating nervously.

*waku waku*2” (Wilhelm & Anya)

Anya and I exchanged looks full of anticipation.

The girl suddenly snapped back, put her hat back on, and clapped her hands.

“Alright, so, let’s move on to the fun magic part, shall we?” (Pink girl)

She had a bright and cute voice.

“Eh? Where did the coin from earlier go?” (Wilhelm)

“W-W-Well~ I wonder what you mean by ‘coin’~” (Pink girl)

She’s totally dodging the question. I felt like I was being diverted.

“Do you mean to say you don’t know where it went? That’s actually quite impressive.” (Wilhelm)

“Wil-sama, I’m also impressed!” (Anya)

“Anya, you seem to be oddly amused. Your eyes are sparkling so much, but you know that that magic trick just now was a failure, right?” (Wilhelm)

“Was it?” (Anya)

“Tada~! Now, behold~!” (Pink girl)

Looks like the next performance is about to begin.

“A magic trick by the cute Stephanie-chan!” (Stephanie)

So, this girl’s name is Stephanie.

“Someone’s completely avoiding the coin…” (Wilhelm)

“Now, pay attention~! I’m going to pull lots of cards out of my mouth~! Get ready to be amazed~!” (Stephanie)

Stephanie brought both hands to her mouth. She opened her cute mouth wide and made a gesture as if pulling something out of it.

“Eeeeeeeh!” (Stephanie)

“Wow~!” (Wilhelm & Anya)

It looked as if she had a massive amount of cards in her mouth from the beginning. She skillfully pulled them out and dropped them onto the table. Isn’t this amazing?

“Ah, they’re—” (Wilhelm)

BAM! The cards scattered as if they had exploded. They must have collided and bounced off each other. It was a big failure. The cards scattered all over the ground.

Just when I thought it was amazing, it turned into a failure…

Stephanie showed a face dripping with cold sweat.

Hmm, after thinking for a moment, I smiled.

“T-This is the miraculous power of the cute Stephanie-chan! You’ve just witnessed a real miracle!” (Stephanie)

“Wil-sama, was that Stephanie-san’s signature line?” (Anya)

“Ah, I guess. Even though it was a spectacular failure.” (Wilhelm)

But it seemed to amuse Anya. She clapped enthusiastically.

“Wow~! That was so cute just now!” (Anya)

What a pure-hearted child she is. Her eyes are shining so brightly.

“Thank you, Ojou-san~!” (Stephanie)

Stephanie happily waved her hands.

“Tada! Ta-da-da-da-da~!” (Stephanie)

Hey, she’s still going? Well, as long as Anya’s happy, it’s fine.

“Now, behold~!” (Stephanie)

“I’m excited! Wil-sama, I wonder what kind of magic we’ll see next!” (Anya)

“Yeah, probably something flashy.” (Wilhelm)

“Onii-san, Ojou-san, what you’re about to witness is a miracle! The cute Stephanie-chan will now show you a true miracle!” (Stephanie)

“Another signature line! This means that it must be really amazing magic, right?” (Anya)

“Yeah, I can’t wait!” (Wilhelm)

Stephanie’s expression turned resolute. She puffed out her chest proudly. Then, she flipped over the hat and showed us.

“This is just a normal hat, right?” (Stephanie)

Indeed, the hat seemed ordinary. Stephanie placed it upside down on the table and covered it with a cloth.

“Now, the cute Stephanie-chan will perform a miracle with this hat!” (Stephanie)

*waku waku*! I wonder what will happen?” (Anya)

“A mountain of delicious candies will appear. Please applaud if it’s successful. I’ll give you both those tasty candies as a gift.” (Stephanie)

“Got it! We’re ready to clap!” (Anya)

Anya prepared to clap her hands.

“Alright, here we go. Three, two, one—” (Stephanie)

*Snap* 

Stephanie snapped her fingers. Oh, something’s happening. The inside of the hat expanded, and the cloth rose up.

“Wil-sama, it’s amazing! Stephanie-san didn’t touch the hat at all.” (Anya)

“Yeah, it was a real miracle this time. I better get ready to clap too.” (Wilhelm)

“A huge round of applause, please! Ta-da! The miracle of the adorable Stephanie-chan was a great success!” (Stephanie)

Stephanie gracefully removed the cloth from the hat.

Then, with a whoosh, something suddenly flew out all at once. Colorful balloons! It was like a festival. How did that many balloons fit into such a small hat?

*clap clap clap clap clap*~!” (Wilhelm & Anya)

“Wil-sama, that was amazing, incredibly amazing!” (Anya)

“Yeah, it was incredible. Although it was supposed to be heaps of candies.” (Wilhelm)

“Oh… right. Could it be… that these balloons are candy-chan?” (Anya)

“No, they’re just regular balloons. Right, Stephanie?” (Wilhelm)

Stephanie flinched. She blinked rapidly, looking awkward. Sweat was visibly dripping down her face. Her clothes looked drenched.

“T-T-T-This is the miraculous power of cute Stephanie-chan, okay?” (Stephanie)

“She’s still trying to spin it that way.” (Wilhelm)

“Yeah, she’s really trying.” (Anya)

“That last one wasn’t a failure! It was just another trick I had prepared that accidentally came out.” (Stephanie)

“Some people call that a failure—” (Wilhelm)

“Oh well, can’t be helped.” (Stephanie)

Stephanie shoved both hands into the pockets of her shorts. Then, she rummaged around. It seemed like there was a lot of something in there. She pulled something out.

“Here you go. Please enjoy the candies. Let’s wrap up today’s magic with this. Thank you for watching. I’d be happy if you watched again.” (Stephanie)

She placed a mountain of candies in our hands. Is it okay to receive this much?

Anya took out 100 gold coins from her wallet. There’s a box next to Stephanie. She’s going to put it in there. Even though the trick failed, Anya seems satisfied.

Stephanie looks at Anya with a “Are you sure?” expression. She seems surprised herself.

“I’ve become a fan of Stephanie-san. Please keep up the good work!” (Anya)

“Oh, thank you. I’ll show you something even more amazing next time!” (Stephanie)

Anya waved her hand cutely. We parted ways with Stephanie and walked towards the city gate.

These candies are really delicious. I wonder where they’re from. When I looked at the wrapper, I didn’t recognize the product. Must have been imported from somewhere. Probably from a foreign brand.

“Wil-sama, I feel like practicing magic now.” (Anya)

To think she’d enjoy that low-quality magic trick so much.

“The path of magic is tough, you know?” (Wilhelm)

“Yes. But I still want to give it a try.” (Anya)

“I see. I’ll cheer you on. It’d be great if it becomes a good hobby for you.” (Wilhelm)

Man, these candies are incredibly delicious. I’ll have another one. I felt like I gained something from that experience.


TL Notes:

Thanks for reading!

So, Stephanie is a clumsy magician from probably another country. Maybe she came from a magic-centric country, but I guess it’s still too early for speculation.

I mean, there’s something amusing in seeing magic tricks fail.


Footnote:

  1. Pantomime is the art or technique of conveying emotions, actions, feelings, etc., by gestures without speech.
  2. I don’t really know how to explain this other than just imagine them looking at her with starry eyes in anticipation.
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